Connection

I was recently scoffed by a new acquaintance when I mentioned that I was a blogger. Here was a person who seemed at first interested in getting to know me, but with that dismissive attitude about blogging, ended up missing out on learning a LOT about me. I didn't feel compelled to explain - it just seemed like too much work. This in-person, face-to-face visit seemed less connecting than the online encounters I have through blogging and Facebook. 

Just yesterday in a blog post (HERE) I opened up and shared the painful experience of letting my 15-year old son extend his summer vacation into a year-round move 1800 miles away to live with his dad. I connected this experience with our need for "safe harbors" - those places and people where we can feel safe to be ourselves and to nurture our dreams.

I am blown away by the response to my blog post. The e-mails from people have been so touching. So many people reaching out, sharing their own stories, and connecting with my words. I've started reading a book by Brene Brown called, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Brene defines connection as:

the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, valued;

when they can give and receive without judgement and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.

I didn't feel heard and I certainly felt judged by the person I met with "in the real world" who dismissed the idea of blogging. I wasn't wounded by this, rather I lost interest, which resulted in losing a connection with this person. 

Those who are truly "plugged-in" do get it. They experience the connection when they take risks to open up and share their stories and their vulnerability. Three years of blogging has shown me just how connected we can be with people all over the world. I feel so grateful to be a part of this phenomenon.

I thank you dear readers and friends - thank you for seeing me and allowing me to see you.

I invite you to check out the latest Journey of the Heart Journal post titled, "Safe Harbors."

{Namaste}

Kathryn, Collage Diva

 

Comments

[donna!ee]

AMEN sister...always connected! i too have greater connections via blogger that lack in my face to face encounters. i've been thru the struggles of a 15 yr old. do continue to pray & know that sometimes as a mother we have to "stand down" & get out of the way and let the Holy Spirit work miracles in our son. (by the by, it works, my son shines!) blest be ... :)

[Kara aka MotherHenna]

Kath, sending you so many supportive vibes for all that you've shared recently. I sometimes feel soooooo plugged in that I can't keep up with everyone and everything, so it is often far too long between connections with people I love and am inspired by. I'm so grateful you are here as a blogger -- scoffer be damned -- as you have shared so much heART here over the years that has inspired me, taught me, made me stop and consider, have made me feel less alone in the world, less isolated. I get way LESS than that when I go out to a bar with friends "in the real world" let me tell you! Sending you Reiki for the wrestles with your 15 year old -- for what it is worth, several of my friends with teens this same age are having the very same wrestle. It is an empty nest syndrome we didn't think we'd have to face for a few more years anyway! Reiki, Reiki, Reiki!!! xo k-

[Tricia Fountaine]

Hi Kathryn, Well I for one am thrilled you are a blogger! I have newly discovered you and your journal and love it. It is odd how people dismiss the Internet as not being very personal or "real". I find far more beautiful "real" people through blogging that I ever have in person. I feel as if I have truly found my crowd, my community. All of my strangeness and eccentricities are appreciated in blog land by others that are similar to me. We all happily share parts of ourselves and know they will be accepted and cherished. Your post about your son leaving was a conversation that was so more meaningful than most I have had with a person in front of me. I think it might be kind of like passing the talking stick from the days of old. On the blogs no one interrupts you, you have time to compose your thoughts clearly with no time pressure real or imagined. When you are done with your post you pass the talking stick to another who takes their time composing a reply if they are interested. I feel like people really hear you on the blogs those that care to comment are truly caring and not just listening with one ear while they think of the other errands they need to do. There is a wonderful purpose and clarity that comes with blogging that is often missing in person. How lovely that you got to find out right away that this was not someone for you. Saying "I am a blogger" can be similar to one of those old questions like "what sign are you" to find out if you are compatible right from the off! LOL!
Well there is my long rambling comment, time to pass the talking stick!
Wait... not just yet... for more on how I feel about this if you are interested have a peek at http://triciafountaine.blogspot.com/2011/04/my-pasta-dish-for-movable-feast.html. I am even more long winded there!
Ok... passing the stick...
Thank you!
Tricia

[Shell]

Most of my closest friends do not blog at all or don't get it. At first a negative comment from one of my closest friends hurt me, then I realized she didn't get it. That's okay.
What's important is all the fun, friendships and adventure I enjoy with blogging. If other people don't get it, well I feel they are missing out on something wonderful.

[kelly]

i have brene's other book. need to get this one!